The Phil Files

Jesus wasn’t kidding when he laid out this prayer for our “come to Jesus” meeting with the Father. He told me to pray this way if I am going to come before the abba Father and live in genuine relationship with my brothers and sisters in our family. He said to pray this way:

Our Father in heaven,hallowed be your name,your kingdom come, your will be done,on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us today our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.

For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

What makes this prayer so applicable today is the commentary Jesus adds to it.

For if you forgive others when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (Matthew 6:14-15)

Couple this addendum with Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:23-24 and Matthew 18:21-35 and you understand very clearly that forgiveness is a crucial part of Kingdom character. In my Heartlight.org article today, we look at Jesus forgiving His disciples who had abandoned, forsaken, betrayed, and denied Him in His hours of greatest need. This prayer and the article really challenge me in my life and force me to ask some questions of myself and of us, Jesus’ people.

Why is forgiveness hard for you?

How is forgiveness liberating to the person forgiven?

How is forgiveness liberating to the person who does the forgiving?

Why do you believe Jesus is so adamant that His followers be a forgiving people? (Read the Lord’s Prayer, along with Jesus’ editorial comment in Matthew 6:9-15 and also Jesus’ parable about the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:21-35 before answering this question!)

The apostle Paul called us to forgive like we have been forgiven(Ephesians 4:32-5:1). How are we like God when we forgive?

How can we help each other become more forgiving?

Why are confrontation of sin and confession of sin so important to creating an environment of forgiveness? (Matthew 5:23-24; Matthew 18:15-20; James 5:16)

I’d love to hear any insights or responses you have!

As Matthew gives us the Lord’s prayer, he reminds us of one part of the prayer that Jesus felt was essential: our willingness to forgive — “forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”

Hear it in context as you pray the prayer:

“Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us today our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.

For yours is the kingdom and the power
and the glory forever. Amen.

Now notice that Jesus adds the exclamation point on this point in the two verses immediately the prayer:

For if you forgive others when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins (Matthew 6:14-15).

I know of no other thing harder than genuine forgiveness. Tossing the offense of others into the “sea of forgetfulness” is something that only the Spirit of God can help us do. In reality, the more we try to forget something, the more we actually remember it. Forgiving and forgetting is something only God can do — that’s why part of our prayer is always “your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” But, we can begin the work of forgiveness — we can begin to live in a restored reality that is purer than existed before the offense and trust that over time, God’s Spirit will help dissolve our memory of the offense in the “sea of forgetfulness.”

To do this, however, we must throw ourselves on God’s powerful and deep mercy to heal us. And, since the shards of life can’t always be put back together completely after a deep offense, there will be random reminders of the wounds of the past that require us to forgive again and again for our forgiveness to be fresh and real. Yes, this is hard work, but it is the holy work of Kingdom-living — again, that’s why we pray daily “your Kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”

For me, a simple hymn sung by Jars of Clay says it well and powerfully as a prayer. Be blessed! (Lyrics below.)

All heavy laden acquainted with sorrow
May Christ in our marrow, carry us home
From alabaster come blessings of laughter
A fragrance of passion and joy from the truth

Grant the unbroken tears ever flowing
From hearts of contrition only for You
May sin never hold true that love never broke through
For God’s mercy holds us and we are His own

This road that we travel, may it be the straight and narrow
God give us peace and grace from You, all the day
Shelter with fire, our voices we raise still higher
God give us peace and grace from You, all the day through

Jesus wasn’t kidding when he laid out this prayer for our “come to Jesus” meeting with the Father. He told me to pray this way if I am going to come before the abba Father and live in genuine relationship with my brothers and sisters in our family. He said to pray this way:

“Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us today our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.

For yours is the kingdom and the power
and the glory forever. Amen.

There is a hard reminder in this simplest of prayers. And for me, today, it is that hard word on forgiveness that is inescapable. I’d just as soon walk around this commitment today. I’d like to pretend it’s not here. But if I don’t forgive today, I won’t be forgiven tomorrow.

So I forgive and am in pretty good shape until I stumble across another set of entrenched deceptions placed where I have built my heart in sacred places — places with sweet memories — only to find those truths and those precious moments are stained by the big deception. Big things, little things, meaningless things, routinely appear that make the job of forgiveness the primary challenge for a day on which I never expected to have to face the challenge to forgive. So I have to forgive again, feeling the sting of the original hurt, but now with a new depth and pervasiveness to the original deception. Yet it is on me to forgive as Jesus forgave me. It’s hard, but holy work. And as I do it, I come face to face with the hard work God has to repeatedly do with me. I am reminded of the layers of deceit and half-heartedness that I woven into the fabric of my own life.

Father, forgive me … I want what you want here … I want my forgiveness to be clean and pure and whole and holy and redemptive … and given without equivocation.

But I also confess, I am ready for the need to forgive to not be there anymore. I long for the time that forgiveness reaches the place when I am free from all of this! Where I’m free and grace is given so easily that there is never a thought of the pain of past precious moments now soiled by clipped words, hedged truths, and lies to cover up what was not true.

Until then, Lord, I will keep stumbling across the place where my will and love meet my hurt and my pride. And I consciously try to forgive again, new, fresh, and comprehensive for their forgiveness is deserved much more than mine.

So tonight, forgive me my debts, as I also have forgiven my debtors.

In my weekly Heartlight.org article, I begin a 7 week series on the 7 sayings of Jesus on the Cross. The first saying is, “Father, forgive them for they don’t know what they are doing.” (Click for the fuller audio version of this message.) It is a strong reminder about how important it is to God that we are a people a of forgiveness — that I am a person of forgiveness.

What makes it hard for your to forgive others?

Why is it so easy to want to get even or hold onto bitterness?

What are steps you’ve taken to forgive others just as “God in Christ has forgiven you”?

It sounded just like this: “Bzrp-cha-ta-bzrp. Zip-zip. Splzt. Bzrp-cha-ta.” While it happened quickly, that’s what it sounded like as my friend, Jim, worked over the reel-to-reel recorder and cut out my blunders, goobers, and mistakes in my audio recordings. Many times since those days long ago, I ‘ve wished that I could have him do the same for me in my life! (I talk about this in my heartlight.org article today.)

If you could edit some things out of your life, what you change? Come on now, at least be honest with yourself, what things would you just as soon be banished to the depths of the sea?

Better yet, what would you do to help foster a sense of love, forgiveness, and generosity in those around you?

I’d love to hear from you!

Confronting our hidden sins, our rebellion, and lies are never easy. But confession is the open door to God to step in and change our hearts and lives, and also redeem our relationships. Take comfort in such sweet reassurance. Take action when falsehoods fill your relationships.

Blessed are those
      whose transgressions are forgiven,
      whose sins are covered.
   Blessed are those
      whose sin the LORD does not count against them
      and in whose spirit is no deceit.

   When I kept silent,
      my bones wasted away
      through my groaning all day long.
   For day and night
      your hand was heavy on me;
   my strength was sapped
      as in the heat of summer.

   Then I acknowledged my sin to you
      and did not cover up my iniquity.
   I said, “I will confess
      my transgressions to the LORD.”
   And you forgave
      the guilt of my sin.

   Therefore let all the faithful pray to you
      while you may be found;
   surely the rising of the mighty waters
      will not reach them.
   You are my hiding place;
      you will protect me from trouble
      and surround me with songs of deliverance.

   I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
   I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.
   Do not be like the horse or the mule,
      which have no understanding
   but must be controlled by bit and bridle
      or they will not come to you.
   Many are the woes of the wicked,
      but the LORD’s unfailing love
      surrounds those who trust in him.

   Rejoice in the LORD and be glad, you righteous;
      sing, all you who are upright in heart!

\o/ — Comments Psalm 32: Surround me with songs of deliverance! — \o/

Few things wilt a heart, undermine a relationship, and destroy a sensitive spirit quite like hidden sin. Our hidden, unconfessed sin poisons us. The longer we incubate it, the more dead and broken we become inside.

In relationships, there is no integrity, no genuine intimacy, when hidden sin separates a husband and wife or two close friends. A close friendship is rendered false and shallow because of secrets and sin. A person’s own heart is chewed up with real guilt and the toxic shame of unconfessed rebellion. Our hidden, unconfessed sins poison our relationship. The longer we incubate it, the more dead and broken the person we love becomes, poisoned of heart by our own hand.

The psalmist’s graphic description of sin’s power to rot a person physically as well as spiritually is powerfully described here.

“BUT GOD …!”

Ah, what sweet reversal the simple words “But God …” can bring. Confession, honesty, a genuine and thorough audit of our hearts opens the door to for hope to say, “But God can bring healing, health, hope, forgiveness, deliverance, righteousness, and songs of joy.

He can restore heart, soul, mind, and strength … and sometimes … in fact often times … He helps to restore the broken relationship.

As James said so long ago, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed” (James 5:16).