Captured!
Okay, I confess it. Last week, I was a bad blogger. I had a bunch to blog about, just no time to share it. I hope to share some really good video clips from Corbett and Crew from Southern Hills over the next week. The ones this week will focus on Groups and the importance of our having them.
Today, however, I want to give you a place to respond to my weekly post on Heartlight.org — “Captured by Grace!” — I try to explain the principle of redemption ethics and show how God’s grace has reached us and we respond to that grace out of appreciation and not obligation. So here are some discussion questions coming out of that post:
- So what is your reaction to the idea of “redemption ethics” — recognizing that God has acted first and given us his mercy, grace, and forgiveness before he asked us to share those with others? (For examples of this, seek passages like 1 John 3:16-18; Colossians 3:13; Ephesians 4:32.)
- Why is it so hard to “go first” and love, forgive, or serve when we have been wronged by someone or they don’t seem to deserve the gift we are going to give them?
- How have you tried to “earn” the cost of God’s grace given to you in Christ?
- What difference does it make to respond to God’s grace rather than trying to live with a sense of obligation that you have to earn it (Ephesians 2:1-10)?
- Paul describes God’s love and grace as well as our condition before that love and grace (Romans 5:6-10 — powerless, ungodly, sinners and enemies). Which of those four terms best describes your walk with God before salvation in Jesus? How has God changed that in your life?
- Who is someone to whom you need to extend mercy, grace, forgiveness or service?
- Why do you think it is so hard for us to get both God’s character and God’s compassion together in our lives? (Seems like we get one right or the other, but both seem to be hard for all of us to put together, yet we see it powerfully demonstrated in Jesus!)
I’d love to get your input into all of this discussion.
I learned years ago that we must forgive, yes in many cases “go first” and the freedom that comes from that is so wonderful. God’s economy is much different than this world, but then so is his grace. Even if the other person refuses our “going first,” we know then the grace of God in a deeper and fuller way because we are right with our Heavenly Father who has shown us the way through Jesus Christ. His way is always the best way.
Those that we know who say I don’t forgive, I get even usually have a very unsettled life and usually a life that is always at cross ties with everyone else. I find that often their health is not good. We cannot hold grudges and expect to be well. We must forgive so God can really forgive us and allow us to live the life that he would have us live.
I guess this is hard for people to do, (yes even me at times) because of our “pride.” Man we should not let that get in the way because what do we really have when we do not have Christ as our Saviour. Our pride needs to be confessed and given to Him. Then the hardness of forgiving others as Jesus did becomes a part of our lives. After all he is our example and the Holy Spirit in our lives helps us on this matter when we give it all to him.
Enough I beleive for now.
Allan Burr
9 Feb 09 at 6:15 am
I appreciate so much the following story as told by Tom Allen, a pastor at Grace Church in Seattle and former Army Ranger:
While watching the movie, Saving Private Ryan, I was extremely proud until the last few minutes of the film.
As the movie began, I was proud watching the Rangers take Omaha Beach. Then the story unfolds as they receive a mission to go deep into enemy territory to save Private Ryan. They hit skirmish after skirmish, and some of them are killed along the way. They finally get to where Private Ryan is holed up, and they say, “Come with us. We’re here to save you.”
He says, “I’m not going. I have to stay here because there’s a big battle coming up, and if I leave my men they’re all going to die.”
What do the Rangers say? “We’ll stay here and fight with you.” They all stay and fight, and it’s gory and hard, and almost everyone dies except Private Ryan. At the end, one of the main characters, Captain John Miller, is sitting on the ground. He’s been shot and he’s dying. The battle has been won.
Private Ryan leans over to him, and Captain Miller whispers something to him. Everyone in the theater is crying because Capt. Miller was shot; but I was crying because of what he said—it was so terrible. Private Ryan bent down and Captain Miller said to him, “Earn this.”
The reason that made me angry is no Ranger would ever say, “Earn this.” Why? Because the Ranger motto has never been “Earn this.” The Ranger motto for the past two hundred years has been Sua sponte, “I chose this.” If that movie character had been true to the motto, he would have said. “I volunteered for this. This is free. You don’t pay anything for this. I give up my life for you. That’s my job.”
And so when you look at the cross and see Jesus hanging there, what you do not hear is “Earn this.” You never hear Jesus say, “Earn this.” He doesn’t say, “I’ve given everything for you. Now you need to gut it out for me.” What he says is “Sua sponte.” I volunteered for this. You don’t have to pay anything for it.
Mark
9 Feb 09 at 9:48 am
I am a person who\’s been criticized for being TOO forgiving and letting the wrong people take advantage of me. In other words, 9/10 I think about what Jesus would do and take \’the high road\’ in situations. This means resisting temptation, consciously deploying empathy, i.e., \"Do Unto Others\", etc. Not easy when someone\’s hurt you, but with all humility, I recognize I am no social saint. Yet I am perplexed when people I reach out to repeatedly choose to take \’the low road\’ towards me then still want me in their lives! It\’s as if being compassionate sets you up to be taken advantage of, like it\’s mistaken for stupidity! Just how am I to interpret this teaching without inviting more harm to myself? I am becoming concerned with my own bitterness and I\’m choosing social isolation, at this point.
Susan
10 Feb 09 at 10:14 am
Question: How do you apply ‘redemption ethics’ when being gracious and forgiving is interpreted as an invitation to take advantage of you? I’ve found others perceive you as a ‘chump’ operating on stupidity when you apply redemptive principles. It’s as if the more compassionate you are, the more you invite harm to yourself! This seems to happen repeatedly….
I have been criticized, and even advised against, taking ‘the high road’ as much as I do because I often end up being taken advantage of. (If someone is obviously harmful to me I avoid that person &/or break-off the relationship. But people can deceive you with words and behaviors.) I really try to do as Jesus would do in most situations, which is not always easy. (I am no saint….) Then the other person abuses your kindness and essentially punishes you for it! This issue has worn me down to the point of bitterness. Now I’m choosing to socially isolate myself. Please help me.
Suan
10 Feb 09 at 12:00 pm
Susan,
It does hurt when folks take advantage of you and your kindness. Of course, they did that with Jesus. I have a couple of basic responses and if others see this, I hope they will chime in as well.
First, the apostle Paul was a great example of living sacrificially, but also protecting himself under the law. He did not abuse others, but he did use his rights as a Roman citizen to make sure he was protected by the law. I see this as a great reminder that the law is to protect us (kinda the Romans 13 point) and we should use it. The admonition about not going to court involves believers who have been wronged by believers (1 Corinthians 6) and even there leaves us with a path to address the wrongs that have done to us. In other words, we are not just supposed to lie down and take it. To “enable” a person to consistently act in evil ways is not the Lord’s intention.
But the question is probably this: How do we avoid being a chump, or worse, enabling bad and evil behavior by being redemptive?
My key response to any kind of relationship question is to look to Jesus. Clearly, Jesus did absorbed much that was evil, vile, and unfair. The Cross stands as a living testimony to His commitment to live redemptively.
However, don’t let that hide some of the strong, bold, and forceful actions that Jesus took to confront people who were claiming to be holy and who were not. In fact, Matthew 18, the center of this theme of redemptive ethics and relationships, shows Jesus being emphatic and forceful in confronting sinful and evil behavior.
Here is a short list of forceful things that Jesus did:
1-Confronted His disciples and His opponents when they were wrong and not doing what is right (Matthew 7 and Matthew 23)
2-He ran out the money changers from the Temple when they were desecrating what God held as Sacred (John 2)
3-He confronted His family about what made true relationship, blood relationship or God relationship — obedience to God (Mark 3)
4-He rebuked those who didn’t care for the needy and hid behind their religious observance as the reason — Luke 10 and the Good Samaritan and Mark 3 and the man with a shriveled hand
5-He forcefully defended a woman being taken advantage of even though she was sinful: then He confronted her to go Her way and sin no more (John
6-He challenged the crowd by saying they were only following him selfishly, because they wanted Him to feed them and not because they believed, so He taught them hard things and many turned away from Him (John 6)
7-He corrected and challenged His own followers for their false view of the man born blind (John 9)
8-He challenged a man He held to quit seeing himself as a victim and quit living irresponsibly or something worse would happen to him (John 5)
We could list more. Unfortunately, folks see acting redemptively as meaning “being nice” or “going along to get along.” However, this is not what Jesus meant. It is not what He calls us to do.
Being a wall flower, or non-assertive, or “simply being nice,” is not what Jesus had in mind. The issue is simple: what needs to happen to redeem the other person?
The answer to that is hard: however, we are not to enable sinful or evil behavior. In other words, forgiveness doesn’t mean we repeatedly let an unfaithful spouse keep cheating — Jesus didn’t, God doesn’t want it, and we shouldn’t either.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean we let a child molester baby sit our kids or teach children’s classes. It doesn’t mean we sit idly by and “take it”: instead, the call for radical community in Matthew 18 (and other places in Jesus’ ministry) challenges us to confront those who wrong us. If they don’t respond, we no longer keep them in our fellowship.
Granted, this is a very hard area to distinguish. It takes what James 1 calls spiritual wisdom. We are going to err on the side of graciousness. But, Jesus did say a person is known by His or Her fruits. When a person repeatedly manifests a certain behavior that is wrong, mean, distructive, or harmful, we are not judging them by confronting them. We are doing the right thing. The fruit of their life is showing this destruction. To say nothing and to do nothing and to be passive is to be the opposite of redemptive. We use the phrase, “letting them go to hell in a handbasket” and this kind of “being nice” is never advocated by Jesus. And when others are being abused or taken advantage of by someone, we are not called to be nice, but to protect the one who is abused or taken advantage of.
Yes, we are to turn the other cheek. We are to forgive, when asked to do so, repeatedly. But when the fruit of a person’s life is clearly mean, evil, sinful, harmful, hurtful, we are confront and if they don’t change to avoid and isolate and protect.
Phil
10 Feb 09 at 12:07 pm
Phil, you\’ve given Susan some excellent insights and scriptural examples. Another one that comes to mind is found in Galatians 2:11-14 when Paul confronted Peter regarding Peter\’s hypocrisy in siding with the \"circumcision group.\"
If it becomes apparent that a brother is \"not acting in line with the truth of the gospel,\" we are called to stand up and confront him with love and truth.
It\’s been said that, \"Truth without love is brutality, but love without truth is hypocrisy.\"
Proverbs 27:5,6 (NLT):
\"An open rebuke is better than hidden love!
Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.\"
Mark
11 Feb 09 at 2:31 pm