Other Side
I pulled out of my cul de sac and headed toward my folks place a little out in the country. I live in a very friendly town — we had a slogan for awhile where we labeled ourselves “The Friendly Frontier.” Our family’s experience seemed 
to validate our city’s self-chosen slogan. When Donna first arrived, she had two men practically fighting over opening the door for her at the Post Office. This is a frequent occurrence — we have log jams at public entrances because everybody is trying to be nice to everybody else. Ironic that our fights are often over whose job it is to be nice. It really is a sweet and quirky part of our city culture and we love it.
When I’m driving, I find that things are pretty much the same. Folks wave and are cordial — downright friendly on this frontier. Of course the truth is, women and kids wave, but men nod or nonchalantly hold up a couple of fingers on their steering wheel hand to say, “Hi!”
Now I could understand this treatment if I were mayor or the vice-presidential candidate from Alaska that has just come to town — this frontier definitely has an affinity for that frontier woman, and most folks here probably even like most of what her pastor says in his sermons and sure would never call her a hog. But I’m not that special here — I’m just Phil. I don’t drive a fancy car or a big honkin’ duely 4 wheel drive pick-em-up truck, either. My ride is a 1992 Tahoe with 112,000 miles, with a big dent in the left rear fender, and is about to turn 7 years old. You see, friendliness is simply a big part of our culture. It’s not based on your ride. Or at least that is what I thought.
Instead of being in my Tahoe this past Saturday, I drove my step-dad’s old pickup. I was dressed in work clothes and wore protection goggles over my regular sunglasses. I had on leather work gloves and the back of the pickup was full of limbs held down by a big chain. The truck was dirty and the headliner was falling down all around me. I didn’t look like a “normal person,” I looked like a yard worker. Amazingly, I received no waves, nods, or even obvious eye contact. I didn’t even get close to a couple of fingers raised to say, “Hi!”
It took me a bit of time to get what was happening. I was stunned. Where had my friendly frontier gone? Folks who normally would have waved to me didn’t even acknowledge my existence — they wouldn’t even give me a glance. It became clear as I tried to wave to the usual folks that wave at me, some of whom I knew: these folks were reluctant to open up a connection with visual contact, much less wave. Their sideways glances told them all they needed to know: just another yard worker out in his ol’ truck picking up yard debris. Not worthy of a connection.
To be quite honest, I was shocked — dumbfounded is probably more accurate. I suddenly felt like an alien from another planet in my own neighborhood — suddenly I was alone on this frontier. When I realized what was happening, I tried even harder to get a wave by initiating the connection. Nope, wasn’t going to happen that day in that truck looking like someone people had already categorized. Finally, when I got close to my folks place, a lady did kinda wave — she recognized the truck as my step-dad’s — and then when she saw me in it, she had a puzzled look on her face. If you can take back a wave, she certainly did.
Since last Saturday, I’ve been more aware that I categorize people based on what they are driving — a sort of on the road prejudice, a way of sorting through the folks with whom I will or will not try to make a connection. I remember now a time where I looked away when an old guy in an old truck full of limbs glanced at me. Funny how we are like that: putting people in categories based on their packaging whether it’s color, clothes, or pick up trucks. Funny how our prejudice shows up in places it shouldn’t and God convicts us of our own short-sightedness.
I don’t know about you, but I think I’m going to pay more attention to those guys on the other side of those old beat up pick up truck windows. We never know who might be driving it that day — they might be a lot more like us than we know.
You know Phil. That comment by Obama “You can put lipstick on a pig but it’s still a pig”???? Was in reference to McCain and his party ticket. Meaning that a pretty face doesn’t change what McCain stands for….Besides, McCain used it first in reference to Hillary’s health care plan…
As a Christian, personally I have difficulty voting for any politician. The spirit of discernment, within, tells me a vote for one is a choice of the lessor of two evils….We as children of God should be praying for wisdom of choice and for spiritual enlightenment for whom ever becomes leader of our country….
We all are creations of our Heavenly Father. No one, more important than the other. I believe what is most important, is that we pray unceasing, that the hand of the Lord, judgement and favor or blessing, manifest itself in our lives, our city, our country, in all nations…
David
10 Sep 08 at 11:22 pm
I fear that you are correct about our attitudes based on the wrong things! I remember before we had mostly malls for shopping, going to stores and parking in front of the store. When I was driving a Cadillac I was treated much differently than when I drove other cars! The same is true of the way you dress, the color of your skin (still!) your ethnicity, the list goes on. How long will it take for, at least professing Christian people, to stop looking at exteriors. Perhaps we can learn to let Jesus really live inside us, so that He shines out and others can see that we care. (I have recently been reading “The Shack”.) Perhaps I can learn to Lean on Jesus. Since I have been a Christian since I was 10 (and am now 68) one would think that I could have mastered this better than I have; but I keep trying to grow and learn, and there is always another level to attain.
Marta
Martha
11 Sep 08 at 7:46 am
“For some have entertained angels unawares”…
Darweenna
11 Sep 08 at 4:10 pm
Phil,
I will never forget a sermon heard in my congregation on dress – the leaders of our congregation were trying to impress upon our young people the importance of putting on their best in the presence of Christ. Unfortunately, it did not come across that way; my son (who at the time was working for an auto parts place and had a lot of holes in his pants because of battery acid) decided he was not good enough to attend worship anymore.
I am sure that they thought he could afford new clothes just for worship – after all, he was living with his parents and working. What they did not know was every penny he made went to his car payment and insurance. He barely had enough left for gas. We did not have the money to buy them for him, either.
I am just as guilty – I did not go to them and tell them the damage that was done. I hope I have learned my lesson.
Many times we are helpful to people who are poor and do the right thing. But many times we judge people (as you pointed out) and treat people abomnibly. As James said,
My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don’t show favoritism. Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in. 3If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, Here’s a good seat for you, but say to the poor man, You stand there or Sit on the floor by my feet, have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?
Listen, my dear brothers: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him? But you have insulted the poor. Is it not the rich who are exploiting you? Are they not the ones who are dragging you into court? Are they not the ones who are slandering the noble name of him to whom you belong?
If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbor as yourself, you are doing right. But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers. For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it. For he who said, Do not commit adultery, also said, Do not murder. If you do not commit adultery but do commit murder, you have become a lawbreaker.
Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!
Scary words.
Linda Hoeck
12 Sep 08 at 10:25 am
I just want to say how gratful I am that The Lord led me to this sight. I needed some kind of interaction with others who love The Lord enough to really tell what’s in their hearts without being looked down on. I only heard about The Phil Files two days ago and It’s fast becoming my favorite. It’s difficult to find real people during this time. Praise You my Jesus!
Phillip
Phillip
15 Sep 08 at 12:28 am